If It Kills Me
by LitaHardy21
Summary: First song vic ever! It's loosely based on my other story You're Gonna Go Far Kid. Randy Orton/OC


**My first songfic, this will probably be a oneshot and it's Jason Mraz's song "If It Kills Me," in Randy's Point of View, and its a pairing with my OC Lexi Hardy loosely based on my !**

_Hello, tell me you know_

_Yeah, you figured me out_

_Something gave it away_

_It would be such a beautiful moment_

_To see the look on your face_

_To know that I know that you know now_

Randy's POV

Falling for Lexi Hardy, was probably the worst thing I could've done so far in life. Most saw here as the fun loving, hyperactive, tomboy, but she was much more than that to me. Many of the Superstars backstage knew I felt something for her. I wouldn't be surprised if she knew herself.

I made things pretty obvious, a blind man could see it. Well maybe not that obvious, but when around Lexi, I can't help but lose myself.

_And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking_

_You know nothing_

_Well you and I_

_Why, we go carrying on for hours on end_

_We get along much better_

_Than you and your boyfriend_

I don't think I'd be able to handle her not feeling the same way for me. It'd kill me to be rejected by her. She's all I wanted in my type of girl, and since I couldn't have her, it was mainly why I slept with any woman who wanted me.

This needed to stop. I couldn't feel this way for her anymore, she had a boyfriend. Fuck, she was engaged for crying out loud, who was my friend. I flirted with her right in front of him, and it's like he didn't care. I sure as hell didn't

Besides, Lexi and I got along way better than they did anyway.

_Well all I really want to do is love you_

_A kind much closer than friends use_

_But I still can't say it after all we've been through_

_And all I really want from you is to feel me_

_As the feeling inside keeps building _

_And I will find a way to you if it kills me_

_If it kills me_

This was going to destroy me on the inside. I craved for Lexi, to touch her, to have her touch me. I wanted to roam across her skin, let her know that I needed her to feel me, and that she needed it as well.

I felt my feelings growing and my sensations more evolving for her.

_How long, can I go on like this_

_Wishing to kiss you?_

_Before I, rightly explode_

_This double life I lead, isn't healthy for me_

_In fact it makes me nervous_

_If I get caught I could be risking it all_

Watching how her eyes would smile, as she would talk about something that interesting to her. How her natural red lips would pout or purse, or she would softly bite on them. I wonder how they would feel against mine. I had to keep this to myself though.

Adam was around, and he would notice my anxiety with her. If Lexi were to know, she'd obviously tell her best friend Destiny and her fiancé Adam.

_But baby there's the lot that I'll miss_

_In case I'm wrong_

Unless Lexi secretly held feelings for me

_All I really want to do is love you_

_I kind much closer than friends use_

_But I still can't say it after all we've been though_

Cuddling Lexi while I slept, looked like a simple act of me teasing her. In reality, it was my way of coming into contact with her. It was warm, and I loved being close to her.

Metaphorically and literally

_And all I really want from you is to feel me_

_As the feeling inside keeps building_

_And I will find a way to you if it kills_

_If it kills me_

I didn't even know how to comprehend the feelings that were inside of me. Lust, happiness, new...

Love?

_If I should be so bold_

_I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hands_

_I'd tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man_

I wouldn't dare tell Lexi now. Kind of think of it, I'd probably never tell her. It'd be my little secret, that was obvious to everyone.

_But I never said I would_

_I guess I've gone and missed my chance again_

_All I really wanna do is love you_

_A kind much closer than friends use_

_But I still can't say it after all we've been through_

_And all I really want from you is to feel me_

_As the feeling inside keeps building_

_And I will find a way to you if it kills me_

_If it kills me_

_If it kills me_

_I think it might kill me_

I truly was going to lose it. Seeing someone else love her, and kiss her. Seeing someone be able to hold them in their arms, and do things that I'd never be able to do.

Something was rising from the pit of my soul. Envy? Anger? No, I knew exactly what it was.

_And all I really want from you is to feel me_

_Yeah, the feeling inside keeps building_

_I'll find a way to you if it kills me_

_If it kills me_

_It might kill me_

I was in love with Lexi Hardy.

**So, how'd you like it? I'm sorry if I gave anything away, that you weren't able to pick up from the story itself. I'll be doing another one with Jeff Hardy with JorriexLover's OC Destiny Woods as well.**


End file.
